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NXT obtained the day began with a very entertaining Stand & Ship present, and now, it’s time for the primary night time of a two-night WrestleMania 38.
There’s a lot about tonight’s present that I’m wanting ahead to, so let’s get issues going.
Are you prepared?
As a result of I’m prepared.
If you happen to’re prepared, and if I’m prepared, then there’s just one factor left to do. I want all of you to say it with me…
LESS DEW EET!!!
(0:00) As Fightful Choose introduced earlier this afternoon, the Smackdown Tag Crew Title match is opening the present tonight, as The Usos defend in opposition to Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs.
(0:02) Nation music star Brantley Gilbert is out to sing “America The Lovely” to maintain with WrestleMania custom.
(0:04) I can’t say that I’m an enormous fan of nation music, however there’s a few of it that I do like. With that mentioned, I didn’t like that rendition of “America The Lovely” in any respect. It appeared like Gilbert and his friends had been all off key.
(0:08) The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (AT&T Stadium is the house of the Dallas Cowboys) are out to carry out a dance routine to AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” due to course. Not going to make this a present that lasts longer than 4 hours when you don’t have a bunch of filler.
(0:11) Nakamura and Boogs are carrying matching (in colour, not less than) orange, yellow, and black ring gear. It’s, apparently, a promotional tie-in to Mike’s Exhausting Lemonade and Iced Tea concoction. Both approach, it’s actually bizarre to see Nakamura in these colours.
(0:15) A minimum of by way of the primary two entrances, this can be a very loud crowd. This might be a enjoyable night time.
(0:18) All 4 males on this match are over with the WWE Universe, however that is nonetheless a stunning option to be the present opener. Nicely, possibly not. If you take a look at the cardboard for tonight, half the matches are WrestleMania primary occasion high quality and the opposite half wouldn’t even primary occasion episodes of Uncooked and Smackdown.
(0:23) The Usos hit the 1D on Nakamura to choose up the win. Champs retain. There actually wasn’t so much to that match. I discussed how a few of tonight’s matches wouldn’t even primary occasion episodes of Uncooked and Smackdown. This match was lower than what you’d see 35 minutes into an episode of Smackdown. Let’s simply say it was 2.5 stars. It wasn’t unhealthy, so I can’t go decrease than that, nevertheless it wasn’t good, both, so I can’t go any greater than that. Simply… common.
(0:27) Nicely, we’re going from that to Drew McIntyre vs Blissful Corbin now. Are we simply going to get the lesser stuff out of the way in which proper off the bat?
(0:35) The bell simply rang to start out the match, and I already need this to be over.
(0:39) This crowd actually made extra noise for the primary match.
(0:42) STOP FUCKING HAVING WRESTLING COMMENTATORS SAY “THIS MATCH IS OVER” DURING A REFEREE’S COUNT. QUIT CHOREOGRAPHING THE END OF MATCHES, YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT FUCKS.
(0:44) Certain sufficient, this fucking doofus Michael Cole says “this match is over” when Corbin hits McIntyre with Finish Of Days, and we solely get a two rely, however he doesn’t say a fucking factor after McIntyre hits a Claymore and the match ends. One other tv match proper there. Let’s go along with 2.5 stars once more.
(0:46) After the match, Drew grabs the sword and goes to FUCKING MURDER Madcap Moss, however he hits the ropes with it, and the sword cuts by way of the highest and center ropes with ease. I suppose meaning we’re going to get extra filler whereas the ropes get changed. Hooray.
(0:48) Subsequent up is Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio vs The Miz and Logan Paul. Man, they are surely going to get the nonsense out of the way in which first. At this price, New Day vs Sheamus and Ridge Holland will happen subsequent.
(0:52) The Mysterios come out with new entrance gear. Rey has a hoop jacket and pants in Mexican flag-themed colours, whereas Dom has matching apparel in American flag-themed colours. Dom appears to be like like Eddie Guerrero and Artwork Barr from the times of Los Gringos Locos. Is smart for Dom to honor his father on the market.
(0:55) Miz and Paul have matching black and yellow (black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow) entrance and ring gear. It’s look. Logan Paul truly appears to be like like a professional wrestler on the market.
(1:00) Credit score the place it’s due… Logan Paul appears to be like fairly good within the ring thus far. His coaching has paid off.
(1:03) When Logan Paul is within the ring, his workforce is profitable on offense. Then The Miz will get tagged in and will get beat up. Is smart.
(1:04) Vince McMahon goes to fireplace the particular person/people who mounted the ring ropes after the Drew McIntyre stuff. The underside rope is WAY off. It appears to be like actually unhealthy.
(1:06) Logan Paul simply obtained the most important crowd response of the night time thus far, and all he needed to do was stand there and smirk, soaking within the heel warmth.
(1:07) Extra heel warmth as Paul hits the Three Amigos suplexes, after which goes to the highest rope, hits the Eddie Guerrero shimmy, and lands a Frog Splash.
(1:08) The Miz drops Rey Mysterio with a Cranium Crushing Finale to choose up the win for his workforce. That was a greater match than I used to be anticipating, and it was fully because of Logan Paul. 3.25 stars.
(1:08) As they’re celebrating the victory, Miz activates his accomplice, hitting him with a Cranium Crushing Finale. Hmm… was {that a} face flip for Miz or for Paul? I can’t consider I’m going to say this, however I wouldn’t thoughts seeing Logan Paul within the ring once more. That was spectacular. He simply will get it.
(1:14) Stephanie McMahon comes out to introduce Gable Steveson to the gang. His shirt is screaming “Gable, I don’t fit your needs!”
(1:17) Our subsequent match is definitely primary occasion worthy. Becky Lynch. Bianca Belair. Uncooked Ladies’s Title on the road. I’m excited for this one.
(1:22) An SUV drives out onto the stage, and it’s carrying the Uncooked Ladies’s Champion. Huge Time Becks has a brand new coiffure, new make-up, and new ring apparel.
(1:23) I used to be nearly to say how unbelievable Becky appears to be like, however then she took her shades off… and it appears to be like like she has the worst case of pink eye ever. Nicely, they will’t all be winners, I suppose.
(1:25) The Texas Southern College marching band is out on stage to play Bianca Belair out. That is actually cool.
(1:30) They went for a recreation of their SummerSlam match, and Becky obtained a 2.9999999999999999999999 rely. That was a VERY plausible close to fall. Wow.
(1:32) Each girls are wrestling like they don’t need this match to achieve the five-minute mark. They’re going all out.
(1:34) All jokes apart from earlier, however each of those girls look wonderful on the market. They appear like precise mega stars.
(1:37) To this point, this has been actually ugly, however in an effective way. It appears to be like extra like an precise struggle than a wrestling match. They’d an ungainly Electrical Chair spot that was virtually botched, nevertheless it appeared like they tousled as a result of they’re each making an attempt to get the higher hand, not as a result of one, or each, of them did one thing fallacious. They even fought by way of it in “actual” struggle style.
(1:41) A wonderful 450 Splash from Bianca will get one other plausible close to fall. There have been a number of of these actually, actually shut ones right here.
(1:46) Manhandle Slam on the ring steps! You understand, I’m pondering that didn’t really feel superb for Bianca.
(1:48) A KOD picks up the win for Bianca and the roof practically got here off the stadium. We’ve a brand new Uncooked Ladies’s Champion, and we’ve a brand new Match Of The Night time. That was fucking improbable from each girls. I’m going to wish to observe it once more, however for now, I’m giving that 4.5 stars. Good, good shit.
(1:54) Our subsequent match is Seth Rollins taking over an opponent of Vince McMahon’s selecting. Right here. We. Go.
(1:59) Is… is Seth carrying see-through lace from neck to toe as his ring gear???
(2:02) Cody Motherfucking Rhodes is right here! Similar entrance music, similar ring apparel, similar all the things from his AEW run. The gang is shedding their fucking minds. That is surreal.
(2:06) I don’t care what number of occasions you learn rumors of Cody probably heading to WWE, possibly heading to WWE, probably signing his contract, possibly not signing his contract, and so forth. Seeing him wrestling on WWE tv in 2022 is wild.
(2:08) Cody did the Stardust cartwheel taunt!
(2:12) It was sensible to have this match labored at a slower tempo. You understand the concept of getting Cody go on the market and go nuts was talked about, nevertheless it’s sensible to let the earlier match have that fast tempo. That match had a private feud to associate with it. This match doesn’t. Each males are adequate to shine with out going 200 miles per hour.
(2:14) “Welcome again to the massive leagues, bitch!” – Seth Rollins. Oh boy.
(2:17) The tempo is choosing up properly. They’re having one to date.
(2:19) Cody hits Cross Rhodes, and guess what occurred? Commentary mentioned “THIS IS IT!!!” and Seth kicked out.
(2:21) Cody was welts, bruises, and scratches on his chest, ribs, and throughout his again.
(2:23) Jesus, Cody’s physique appears to be like like he’s been in a automobile wreck.
(2:24) Rollins hits a Pedigree… and guess what occurred? “THIS IS IT!!!” Cody kicks out. Fucking hell. These raggedy bitches are on a mission to fuck factor up.
(2:27) Cody with the jabs and a Bionic Elbow will get an enormous face pop.
(2:27) Earlier than the Dusty tribute, Cody hit back-to-back Cross Rhodes on Rollins. After the tribute, he hit one other one. Guess what occurred? No choreographing something on commentary, and Cody picked up the pin. One other fucking banger of a match. I’m going with 4 stars, however if you wish to go greater than that, it’s cool with me. Along with what I discussed earlier, Cody now has bruising and welts on his face and neck, too.
(2:42) After video packages and the annual Corridor Of Fame celebration, Michael Cole pronounces that Rick Boogs has a torn quad patella. He worded it bizarre, virtually stumbling over issues, as Cole tends to do. Both approach, Boogs goes to require surgical procedure and can be out of motion for some time. Get effectively quickly, Boogs.
(2:44) After Sean Ross Sapp reported {that a} match may should be lower from the present for time, we’re going proper to the Smackdown Ladies’s Title match. So, until we’re not getting something with Kevin Owens and “Stone Chilly” Steve Austin tonight, which could trigger a riot in that stadium, it appears to be like like New Day vs Sheamus and Ridge Holland has been bumped. It’ll most likely find yourself being on the pre-show tomorrow night time, however that’s only a guess on my half.
(2:49) Ronda Rousey’s make-up artist nonetheless hates her guts.
(2:53) Each 5 seconds, Ronda has to regulate her shorts and her prime. Possibly put on higher becoming shit subsequent time.
(2:57) With Becky Lynch and Bianca Belair, they appeared like they had been actually preventing as a result of they’re good at what they do. Charlotte and Ronda appear like they’re actually preventing, nevertheless it appears to be like prefer it’s occurring as a result of they don’t like one another. Huge distinction.
(3:00) Charlotte goes for a Moonsault, however misses as a result of Ronda moved out of the way in which. After all, Charlotte landed on her toes, so she went for a Standing Moonsault… and missed, this time of her personal doing.
(3:02) Humorous spot the place Ronda appears to be like like she’s going for an armbar, and he or she begins speaking to somebody within the crowd, permitting Charlotte to simply casually scoot away. That appeared actually dumb.
(3:07) They’re simply reversing submission makes an attempt on the market. Rousey was capable of escape the Determine Eight, and Michael Cole says she’s the primary particular person to ever accomplish that. I don’t know if that’s true or not, however he appeared like he meant it.
(3:10) Ronda hits Piper’s Pit and will get a 3 rely, however Charlotte had her foot on the underside rope and Little Naitch calls the pin off as a result of he noticed the foot.
(3:11) Now we’ve a ref bump, with Charlotte being knocked into Charles Robinson and practically decapitating him on the underside rope. With no ref round, there’s no one to see Charlotte tapping to an armbar. Ronda picks Robinson up simply in time to get kicked clean within the fucking face to choose up the win. Fairly the stunning consequence there. I don’t suppose many individuals had been choosing Charlotte to retain. I’m having a little bit of a back-and-forth in my head about what to price that match. It was actually tough, nevertheless it wasn’t the drizzling shits or something. The bottom grade I’ve given tonight is 2.5 stars, however I feel I’d say I favored these two matches barely higher. That may imply this needs to be lower than 2.5 stars, nevertheless it virtually sounds bizarre to say that. I’ll simply go along with my intestine, however nonetheless be beneficiant… 2.25 stars. I’ve seen some of us on social media grade it so much worse than that.
(3:21) Certain sufficient, New Day vs Peaky Blinders has been lower for time. It has been a tough stretch for the New Day over the previous few weeks.
(3:21) The KO Present is our primary occasion, which sounds ridiculous to even sort, however the pop we’re about to listen to for “Stone Chilly” Steve Austin goes to be banana pancake.
(3:27) Kevin Owens is within the ring and hasn’t even mentioned a phrase but, however we’ve heard a SUPER loud “Austin” chant and SUPER loud heel warmth when he lifted the microphone to his face.
(3:29) With followers from all around the world travelling to WrestleMania yearly, this entire “I hate Texas” factor is bizarre. There’s solely like 29 precise Texans in attendance proper now.
(3:31) THE GLASS SHATTERED!!! HUGE pop for “Stone Chilly” Steve Austin, who walks from one finish of the stage to the opposite to soak within the response.
(3:33) After strolling to the again once more, Austin returns using his four-wheeler to a different huge pop.
(3:35) An entire standing ovation for Austin as he enters the ring and destroys the props for the present. Then one other LOUD “Austin” chant.
(3:37) DEAFENING “What” chants for Austin as he talks trash to Owens. Jesus Christ.
(3:39) Owens tells Austin that he introduced Austin to WrestleMania to problem him to a match. Evidently, the gang desires it. Owens says he desires it to be No Holds Barred, and that attracts an enormous “Sure” chant from the followers.
(3:44) They’re consuming out of the palm of Austin’s hand, similar to within the Perspective Period. Austin accepts the problem and requires a ref.
(3:44) HERE WE GO!
(3:46) Austin stomps a mudhole in Owens’ ass and is now continuing it to stroll it dry. He’s 61 years outdated, however he’s nonetheless capable of whoop that ass.
(3:49) I’m so joyful for Kevin Owens proper now. He’s dwelling out an absolute dream.
(3:51) This motherfucker Austin is outchea taking a suplex onto the concrete flooring. He’s insane! 65 years outdated and doing that shit?!?
(3:54) Owens tries to start out Austin’s ATV, however is unable to take action. That enables Austin to assault him and drive the ATV, with Owens on it, up the ramp.
(3:55) Now, the 71-year-old Austin is delivering a suplex onto the stage. His physique goes to be mad as hell when he wakes up within the morning.
(3:57) OWENS DELIVERS A STUNNER! He solely will get a two-count out of it, however wow, that was wild.
(3:58) Owens went to seize a metal chair from ringside, and I practically died listening to a lady within the crowd yell “DON’T YOU DARE!”
(3:58) KO tries to make use of the chair, however Austin geese, and KO hits the ropes, inflicting the chair to bounce again and hit him within the face. KICK WHAM STUNNER! Steve Austin picks up the win! The match lasted 13:55, making it the fourth longest match of the present. Who noticed THAT coming?!? For all of the discuss of what Sting has been capable of accomplish in AEW, we simply witnessed a 75-year-old “Stone Chilly” Steve Austin wrestle a 14-minute No Holds Barred match after not wrestling for practically two total many years. I don’t even know the best way to grade that. It turned out to be an precise match, which is greater than anybody was anticipating. Not any type of technical traditional, nevertheless it wasn’t speculated to be. I don’t care what anybody says about this grade… 4 stars. That was a lot enjoyable.
(4:01) After the match, Austin delivers one other Stunner to Owens, after which kicks him out of the ring, the place Owens is met by Deputies to escort him from the constructing.
(4:03) Byron Saxton enters the ring for a beer, and naturally, he eats a Stunner, as effectively. After Austin celebrates and has a beer along with his brother, we go off the air.
Nicely, there was just a little little bit of all the things tonight, wasn’t there? We obtained a few actually good matches, a very good nostalgia experience, a memorable return, and nearly all the things else you possibly can ask for. I’m exhausted. I’ll see you all once more tomorrow night time for my WrestleMania Sunday Operating Diary.
